Missing MJ*   I missed seeing MJ the other night.  He was at the Sectional Boys Championship game between Morton and Whitney Young.  (I work at Morton.  MJ’s son Marcus plays for Young.)   I didn’t know he was going to be there.   I was driving in bumper to bumper traffic on Western Avenue, on my way to the game, when I decided it wasn’t worth it and turned back to go see Mom instead.   Carol saw him.  So did Chuck.  And Barb.  Matt didn’t actually see MJ, but saw pictures of him that students took on their cell phones.    Carol raved about how he looked.  She said she lusted after him, as she always had.    Barb said he was wearing a navy blue hooded sweatshirt.    Matt disagreed.  He said it looked from the kids’ pictures it wasn’t really a navy blue but more of a royal blue.  Maybe not quite a royal blue.  He reconsidered. Somewhere between a navy blue and a royal blue.   Chuck reported that MJ sat in the balcony and didn’t get there until the second quarter.  He crouched down in his seat to try not to be seen.  A Cicero police officer sat on one side of him and his chauffer sat on the other side.   Carol thought the police officer was from Berwyn, not Cicero.   Matt described his chauffer as a white guy with a head of white hair that you could see a mile away.   Carol said no, he was really a light-skinned black guy.   According to Barb, MJ’s  son Marcus didn’t play that well, even though the Chicago Sun Times reported him as one of the leading scorers the next day.  (She’s probably a bit biased, though, since her nephew plays for Morton.)   Everyone claimed Juanita** attended the game too.  She didn’t sit with MJ, though.   When I got there, Mom was in the living room with the other residents.   She was wearing a cotton maroon and white striped shirt, with her maroon slacks and her white sneakers. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, as like it always is.  I think her shirt was one I had bought for her a few years ago, maybe for her birthday or for Christmas.    Mom had her gray sweater on.  She always has to have her sweater. Even in summer.  I think it’s like her security blanket or something. She’s a bit lopsided on top, ever since her single mastectomy in ’85.  Mom wore padding for several years after that, to even things out, but now she just lets things be.  You can’t really tell.  Her bras don’t fit well, so she keeps putting her hand under her shirt to adjust her bra strap. It doesn’t seem strange.   She smiled big when she saw me, like she always does.  We hugged each other hello.   Everyone was catching balls that Hannah, one of the aides, was throwing to them.  Lourdes sat on one side of Mom, and Elizabeth sat on the other side.  Lourdes comes originally from Cuba, and Elizabeth cries a lot.  She wasn’t crying then, though.   Mom caught every ball. She has always prided herself on being a good softball player when she was young.  She says she could out-catch and out-throw her three brothers anytime.  She probably still can.   We went to her room to watch TV.    I Love Lucy came on.  It was the show where Lucy and Ethel make chocolates in a chocolate factory and then end up stuffing themselves with them because they can’t keep up the pace.  Mom and I have always loved that episode.  It never fails to make Mom chuckle.   We talked about what day of the week it was, what month it was, and what city we were in, what kind of a day it was outside, how funny Lucy looked with chocolate smeared all over her face, and how eating all that chocolate would make you sick.    Nurse Jimmy-Carlos came in to give Mom her pills.  Jimmy and I like each other ok, but sometimes we get on each other’s nerves.  Like the time I was telling him about Mom’s cough, and he said he hadn’t noticed it, and then acted like I was attacking his ego for questioning him.  This time everything went all right.   Mom and I hugged each other goodbye between Lucy and The News.  We told each other how happy we were to see each other.  I told her I would call her the next day, as I always do.   Little did I know that I had missed seeing MJ. . .       __________________________ *Michael Jordan, former professional basketball player for the Chicago Bulls. **Juanita Jordan, ex-wife of Michael Jordan and mother of Marcus Jordan.         My Mother and the Squirrels                         I.   They are what I see. No people, this Saturday morning in the park.   They gather nuts.  With long, delicate nails, they                                                hold acorns gently   before they eat.  They run and jump, bound and leap, play on their backs.  Their tails                                                            flip up, exposing soft white undersides; light gray fur shines in the sun.               II.   I recall such an underside, one time, driving my mother to a   cousin’s wedding in Indiana.  A squirrel had appeared on the    left side of the road. She was hesitating, as if calculating   her risk. Then she ran. I felt no impact as my tires mashed her down.                                                                                            III.   My mother repeats what she says.  Sometimes she can’t follow what’s happening.                                                               That time on the road she talked again and again about where we were   going, what day it was, who we were to see.  She didn’t say any                                                                             thing about squirrels, until another one ran across the road—then   Mom turned to me and said, as I sucked in my breath-- That one just made it.                                                                                                         white castles in the car   i buy white castles for my mother and me we eat them in the car   we eat them in the car because it’s only one now and they don’t serve her supper until five   because it’s only one now and they don’t serve her supper until five maybe she’ll get hungry again even though she said she wasn’t hungry a few minutes ago   maybe she’ll get hungry again even though she said she wasn’t hungry a few minutes ago since she won’t remember she said she wasn’t hungry   since she won’t remember she said she wasn’t hungry it’s a good thing we stopped, because now she reaches eagerly for that junior white castle hamburger with cheese   it’s a good thing we stopped, because now she reaches eagerly for that junior white castle hamburger with cheese while she wonders what’s for dessert   while she wonders what’s for dessert she looks in her purse and pulls out a package of sugar free cookies   she looks in her purse and pulls out a package of sugar free cookies as i squirt ketchup on the fries   as i squirt ketchup on the fries then give her another napkin   then give her another napkin tell her not to immediately wipe her nose with it and then put it in her pocket like she does with most of the napkins she’s given   tell her not to immediately wipe her nose with it and then put it in her pocket like she does with most of the napkins she’s given which she does anyway   which she does anyway because her nose is starting to run   because her nose is starting to run i wonder if she should see the doctor soon   i wonder if she should see the doctor soon even though the resident nurse examined her last week and said she’d gained weight   even though the resident nurse examined her last week and said she’d gained weight they didn’t change her diet that much   they didn’t change her diet that much so she really shouldn’t be eating fast food   so she really shouldn’t be eating fast food although i don’t have the time to take her to a sit-down restaurant like baker’s square today   although i don’t have the time to take her to a sit-down restaurant like baker’s square today i did take her to church this morning   i did take her to church this morning and we had a snack during fellowship time after church   and we had a snack during fellowship time after church but i worry it’s not enough to tide her over until five   but I worry it’s not enough to tide her over until five since it’s only 1:30 now   since it’s only 1:30 now we are here   we are here in the parking lot of the white castle fast food restaurant, corner of peterson and ridge, chicago, illinois, sunday, april 5, 2009   in the parking lot of the white castle fast food restaurant, corner of peterson and ridge, chicago, illinois, sunday, april 5, 2009  because it’s storming and starting to hail   because it’s storming and starting to hail i buy white castles   i buy white castles we eat them in the car                                           inheritance                                       mother of                                     my mother                                     hard as an old tree                                     ancient                                     thick                                     immovable                                                                                                                                            always a                                     right way                                       your daughter                                     my mother                                     cannot remember                                                                         yet does not forget                                     all of your names                                        first name                                     the middle ones                                     maiden                                     married                                       still says                                     my mother                                     I’m starting                                     to look like you                                     my grandmother                                       grandma                                     as I call out your name                                     show me                                                                       the way         © Sarah Rae